About the drawing thing…I was going to post about it on dA instead of here, and with actual drawings, but ehh, there’s no reason to block myself from spitting it out while my mind is on it.

I realized not only that I need to be doing more stupid messy =free= drawing, but also that despite the fact that I’m linking my weekly drawing to OHC, the process of that weekly drawing, as well as what I get out of it, is really nothing much like what I get from OHC.  I’m not trying to just create as much as I can, nor am I using that sort of “just keep the flow going” mindset like I am with OHC.  So it’s really much different.  I think about it too much, and that stifles it.  And I realize, that’s the same as music…whenever I think too much about a song that I want to make, and lay out the structure before actually starting on it, it always becomes really difficult.  Because the “direction” that the song “speaks” is not necessarily the same as the structure that I laid out for it in my mind beforehand.  I can’t know that ahead of time.  That’s why I stopped doing that, and I know nowadays that I work best if I let the song write itself, instead of trying to force anything onto it.  I know that other artists work better in other ways, but I’ve found that this way is best for me.  Starting from the beginning and writing till the end, that’s how I do it.

The other thing I noticed, when I was thinking about it, is that there are some certain things about drawing that are actually really wonderful, that don’t come up in music.  Although music has that element of time, that I think is really wonderful, there are these things about drawing.

When I draw, I can make these “whatever” sketch lines and then just kind of rub over them and eventually the collection of stokes will settle onto something more coherent.  That’s really cool!  That’s something that I think doesn’t have an equivalent in my world of music.  I can’t just put some “scratch” notes without knowing what I’m doing, and click a bunch of random notes here and there and eventually have it settle onto something that sounds good.  Of course, I can doodle around on a piano or something, but the difference here is that in drawing, that initial mess can actually still be -there- at the end of it all, and won’t mess up with anything too much.

And then I also think it’s cool, how when you’re doing something like those random stroke base drawings, where you just start with some random squiggly thing, and then base off of that to make a drawing…that’s something that I don’t think really exists either, in my music world.  How you can just go and let your hand do something totally arbitrary, with so little objective in it, and then stem from there and get who-knows-what.  In music I can plop down a random sustained note with a pad or something, that’s probably the smallest “element” that I can do, but even that one note by itself already has so much implied meaning compared to the random squiggly line, I feel.

And it’s a shame if I don’t actually let these two things happen, when I draw, I think.  Especially the first one, because it means that I’m letting the drawing draw itself more…just like, I can’t tell what a song will be, until I’m in the middle of the process of writing it…perhaps it’s easier to “see” the drawing by -drawing- it, not by thinking about it.  And that’s the way that I do music.

Picking up a second art form is really quite interesting, to see these kinds of parallels, isn’t it?  You could say a lot of the same things about my writing, actually–most of the thoughts and dialogues that I have when I write aren’t ones that I planned beforehand, but stem out of connections to what I’m writing.  The writing is always from beginning to end, just following the thought of my mind as it winds through various things.  It has that sort of quality to it.  I like to have things flow like that.

Speaking of flow, I was talking about my dancing and everything, and I’ve been saying how some of my favorite variations are the ones where I don’t even touch the follow…because what could possibly be “softer” than not touching them altogether??

I love how my personality shows through in my dancing.  I really do, and I really believe that it speaks through in all of the choices that I make when I dance.

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