Prerelease weekend…ugh!

I’m really glad I got to catch the tail end of the dance tonight.  Such a good crowd…such a good crowd!  I walked in and started changing and I was just like, oh jeez…so many awesome people are here…it was so nice!  I didn’t even care about the dancing that much, I just wanted to go around and love everybody…

Music!  Music music music, music is soooooo important, oh my gosh!  I don’t even care about dancing or not dancing to the good songs anymore because if I’m not dancing it means I can just liisttennnn, and it’s great!

 

Don’t know what to do with my diary anymore, nor my blog…nor myself.  It’s all so confusing.  Maybe I’ve lost my sense of self somewhere along the way.  I think if you asked me before all this happened, I would have been able to tell you, this is who I am, this is what I do, and this is how it works.  Now, I can still tell you what kinds of things make me happy and what makes me uncomfortable, but I would be more like, this is how I have been, and maybe that’s not what I should be like….or is it?  I don’t know…I’m too easily influenced now.  I got brought into a different world, and now I’m just questioning everything about myself.

I just…want to be better…in any way I can…

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