So many letters I want to write!!!  jeez…

Yesterday I was really tired, and worried that I had pushed myself a little too far (went to bed after 3AM the night before because I was working on music xP).  So after coming back from work I was too tired to even want to cook…which is a shame because I haven’t cooked in sooo long and I did all my groceries at the end of last week too.  But whatever, I was feeling really bleh, so I just warmed up a frozen dinner and ate it while watching Indie Game: The Movie, which was alright.  I know it can’t really be a completely accurate depiction of the real “feeling” of working on indie games, just because…well, it necessarily must be spinning it a particular way.  It definitely lacked in some parts–I feel like if I wasn’t already sort of “in the know” I might not have really understood the significance of a lot of it.  But it did do a good job of getting across the idea that these are people who are just spending multiple years of sacrifice for this one game, that essentially just becomes like their baby, their being, everything.  Which is crazy…human beings just aren’t designed to sacrifice so much for greatness that is so far into the future.  I mean, with the marshmallow experiment we know that we aren’t designed to sacrifice for like 2 minutes or whatever, so like 2 years is ridiculous.  And you can see, they’re like, approaching mental/emotional/physical breakdown at that point.  It’s something I never want to do.  Even though it’s great to put so much effort and dedication into something, the lifestyle is too unstable and too rocky for me, and I need my stability.  So indie game dev can never be a career for me, only a hobby.

Anyways, then I tried to sleep but ended up crying instead (i’m fine) so that sort of failed, ugh.  I ended up just deciding to sleep in and get to work late today, because I need to be good to my body and take care of it…


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