Spring Quarter in Review (2012)

Link to the last one: http://ddrkirbyisq.xanga.com/760801635/winter-quarter-in-review-2012/

Better late than never, anyways.

Spring quarter was my 15th (wow) and last quarter at Stanford.  Yep, I’m all graduated with my coterm BS+MS in CS, yay!

How did the quarter feel overall?  Hmm…it didn’t feel like some epic capstone quarter, which I think is fitting, because I’m really not one for epic capstone =anythings=.  It was good, from what I can remember, but also with some bad mixed in.  Well, and some really bad mixed in too, unfortunately.

Classes this time around…Japanese, CS194, CS244, CS348B.  Yeah, no silly CCRMA stuff or anything, no social dance…the only class I was actually going to later on was japanese, of course.  Japanese was mostly alright, aside from a few times when I was feeling really sad and down and for some reason Japanese class seemed to really make it apparent.  Being in that atmosphere somehow just made it really obvious to me that I was really sad–probably because Japanese class involves actually doing things, so if I wasn’t feeling well, I would have no motivation or feeling to put into it, and I’d really be able to tell the difference.

CS194 was alright…well, the class itself was rather silly, and the TA meetings were also totally silly, and I have this (not necessarily correct) image now of all of the 194 staff being totally incompetent based on what kinds of things I experienced.  But whatever–in the end, I did exactly what I needed to do–put out a WIP version of Pixel Warriors that everyone liked and that was actually pretty legit compared to a lot of the other projects there.

244…alright from what I remembered.  Involved a fair bit of project work though.

348B…haha, an interesting one.  Lots of math and such that went over our heads…there were some funny stories about this class, like how we had to comment on the lecture slides and eventually our comments degraded into very meaningless ones…yeah.  Assignments were quite a bit of work and were not very trivial to understand at points…Final project was the 3D render of my hello kitty stick, which was also a lot of work (not all of it being forward progress), but ended up being pretty fun later on once everything was actually working.

But yes, I did have rough spots this quarter.  I had some rough spots where I was just feeling really bad for whatever reason (can’t recall anymore), as well as some times where I was really unhappy with dance (that last week of dances was pretty rough).  There were some times of real loneliness, there were times where being “different” in the way that I am brought me real hurt.  And then of course graduation, which was probably the roughest time of my life…it was just ALL bad, all bad in all of the worst possible ways, and that was not fun at all, one bit, no, no, never doing that again (course, I say that, but even last week I was close to doing something similar…).  I’m thankful for all of the assistance people like my onee-chan have provided during those times…

But there were good times too.  It’s already kind of sad, not being in Munger anymore, with that amazing room of mine, cooking for myself, whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, with whatever seasonings I felt like.  Making a big fat meal and watching anime while eating it and then taking a good long nap afterwards, only to wake up a lot later to get work done.  Yeah, it was good times.  Good times.

No shoutouts this time.  I could do a huge long list of names and thank everyone ever that has ever mattered over the past 4 years, but somehow it doesn’t really feel like the right thing to do…

Where are we going from here?  Well, no more Quarter in Review posts, because I won’t have any more school quarters!  I start at PlayMesh in August, which I’m hoping will be awesome and super-fun!  Figuring out living…car…lots of transition stuff to take care of.  I always hate transitions–you know, I’m the staying-in-the-comfort-bubble type–but hopefully it’ll all just turn out okay and I can get into a nice rhythm like I’m used to.

Overall comments on Stanford?  Well…for one, yes, it was better than high school.  Took a long time, but yes, it was better…it was very different.

What else?  How have I changed these past 5 years?  I think I’ve changed a lot, actually.  I’m a little more mature than I was at the end of high school, just in general…you know, just a little older.  I relearned how to cry, became more emotional, learned a lot more about how my feelings and emotions and thoughts work and how to work with that to make my life more healthy.  I’ve always been soft, but somehow I think I’ve become even softer over the past 5 years, if that’s even possible.  All things considered, I think the Timm[ie] of today is much “better” than the Timm[ie] of 5 years ago.

I’m always still gonna be “around”, so it’s not a complete goodbye to Stanford or anything, but it’s certainly a goodbye to Stanford life.  I didn’t have the Stanford life that a lot of “Stanford kids” have, but it was still a very good one.  I’m thankful for all of the amazing things that have happened along the ride…

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What will stay the same?  What will change?  Which connections will still stick around?  Again, I never like transitions, but it’s at least nice to know that some things will still be around–still be the same…aside from that, though, maybe we are looking at some more change…

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