When you wake up in the middle of the night, it’s possible to feel really groggy, just as if you were waking up in the morning.  The difference is that you’re not pressed for time; there’s no class to run to, no time pressure egging you on, and no damn bright sun screaming in your face…so it’s really okay to feel groggy for a bit, and slowly come to your senses.

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Yes, yes, I know I always talk about it and you’ll have to forgive me for bringing it up again, but it is extremely scary to think deeply about social networks, and I don’t necessarily mean solely online sense either.  We all willingly subject ourselves to a shouting bout where we scream for attention, yet no one else is listening because they’re busy shouting too.

You have to realize, that when you shout something to the abyss, we’ve already accepted the fact that very well nothing will come back…and perhaps that makes it alright, but…perhaps not.  Because it’s actually quite scary.  It’s like you’re on the telephone with someone, and then you realize that you’ve been talking to absolutely no one for the past 2 minutes because your call dropped and you didn’t realize it.  Do you know what that feels like?  It feels embarrassing, like a slap in the face.  And why?  No one’s making fun of you, and the person on the other end isn’t going to know that you tried to talk to them at all.  But it still feel bad, to spend effort saying something and have nothing come back and nothing be listened to–not even with a remote possibility.

Perhaps little by little, I can make my corner of the world a better place, by being the voice that reaches over the abyss.

…or, perhaps–as I fear sometimes, in a deep, dark corner in my mind–none of you need helping at all; you’re all happy in a better place, together with each other, and I’m really just the only person hovering over this abyss of mine.  An equally–no, perhaps an even more frightening prospect.  Yet, one that is not too far fetched either.  My stubbornness tends to get me into this kind of trouble, after all.

Either way, it’s scary.  Really, really scary.

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It’s really amazing in how many ways people’s personalities exhibit themselves for you to see.  When I watch people dancing, I can tell what kinds of people they are, instinctively.  Yes, I’m missing a lot of the finer details, but it’s just too easy.  And when I visit someone’s FB profile, there are all of these signs and things that clue me in to who you are.  When you look at my FB page, my website, and even my own room, you can tell so much about me even if you disregard the actual content of any of them.  You can instantly tell that I am part of the 1%.

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