This isn’t the first time it has happened.  There was another dream, that I remember, I started crying.  But I shook that one off, someone uncomfortably.  “That can’t be what I really want,” I thought.  It chilled me that such a powerful sense of emotion would be evoked by something that I am supposed to be shunning.

But it happened again this morning.  This morning, I woke up because I started crying in my dream.  But…I was still crying when I woke up.  I keep on thinking of an image in my head, and a phrase that I repeat to myself, and now I’m sobbing, still lying there under the covers, sobbing and whimpering, and I know that this can’t just be the emotional amplification effect that dreams can have on me.  It can’t.

This is important.  Pretty important.  Maybe even really important, but I don’t know if I can stop running away from it.

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