Wow, today was a rough day, from start to finish. I didn’t work myself as “hard” as yesterday, so I wasn’t as physically exhausted, but man, things were just rough thought the entire day. Dancebreak was rough too. I wasn’t feeling it. I’m sure Sayuri would have had just as hard a time though. It was just my mood. It made me feel bad about my dancing despite the fact that I actually had a couple of neat things work. Well, thanks at least to Gerentt for the only real good dance that I had tonight. =) Can’t win em all.
Rough times and I’m not quite sure how to get out of it. The me from a few weeks ago keeps telling me “you’re upset, you need to stamp your foot down and do something about it”, but unfortunately, I don’t know what can be done in this case. Furthermore, I don’t know whether the true problem is external (I need to fix something so I don’t feel upset) or internal (I should try not to feel upset about it).
Perhaps it would help if I had a daily ritual. I read an article about someone who was giving out advice for being an indie developer, and he stressed the importance of separating work from the rest of his life, because when you’re indie it’s really, really, really easy to let your work bleed into the rest of your life because you’re working at home by yourself. So besides stuff like not checking work email outside of “work time” and such, he had a daily sort of ritual he’d go through every day after he finished “work time”, like moving himself from the “work desk” onto the couch and playing a certain game or something.
Part of the way I’m feeling is also physical factors, for sure–the sleep debt from sunday and monday night is still hitting me, despite the fact that I took a nap at work on tuesday. Furthermore I don’t think my body is really happy at all about being shifted out of its more natural sleeping habits of constant afternoon naps. Thank goodness a 3 day weekend is coming up.
During the shuttle ride today I had visions about the game I’m supposed to be working on. I wonder if it’ll ever get to where I want it. Maybe!
Why do I have less “me” time now? Am I getting old?
At the very least, I’m very thankful I have Shia. It actually makes me feel happy knowing that I’m going to be sleeping with him tonight; it’s something I’m looking forward to. I love him very much. I love Kiki’s penguin too, very much, but Shia is very much closer to my heart.