I’ve talked before about how pop music wants lyrics that are super-repetitive so that you can sing along to them even if you’ve never heard the song before. Okay, but then there’s the other thing, that these lyrics and songs resonate with people and stick in their heads because people can relate to them. Well…okay, I can understand that with all those “You Belong With Me” songs…right, all of this sappy stuff about unrequited love, “if only he would notice”, “i love her but she doesn’t love me”, “you dumped me and I’m sad about it”, okay okay I get it. But what about all of this “im in da club” and “lets all take shots” and the “okay basically we’re having sex” lyrics? People relate to -those- things too? That brings my faith in humanity to an all-time low…how do you people like this stuff? Yeah, yeah okay okay okay I get it let’s just agree to disagree…*breathes*…just realize that we’re probably disagreeing on more than just music here.
Watching other people dance certain dance styles; most notably salsa, I realize that there are people who don’t always stick to the beat and rhythm. It seemed really -wrong- to me, like “what!?” It shouldn’t ever be a good thing to break from the rhythm patterns of the dance form, except in special cases. Right? Well, then I actually had an interesting thought that maybe I’m actually handicapping myself by forcing myself to stay within the “correct” constraints instead of just saying “oh whatever” to the music.
…it was an interesting thought, as I watched those other couples dance “imperfectly”. But, you know, I don’t think I’ll ever dance that way if I can help it–it wouldn’t feel right.
Speaking of dance, it’s interesting to look at my dancing across time and realize that, as I’ve grown more skilled, I’ve struggled more with confidence. …but that’s something I’ve already looked at a lot. So we look again, and we can see that, even after dealing with the confidence issues, and growing more skilled, I find myself hardly ever dancing with anyone that I don’t know nowadays. Now, of course, that makes sense on a basic logical level–when you first start out, after all, you basically know next to -nobody- (aside from those friends who you happen to know in other ways). But it’s interesting how you create this sort of comfort network around you even in the dance arena, and once that circle has expanded large enough for your purposes, it’s surprisingly difficult to get the motivation to dance with anyone outside of it. And by “your purposes” I mean that some people opt to sit out more dances than others, some people like me play both lead and follow so we need to account for that and the ratio of times that i’d want to do either role, and things like that.
But of course the other reason is just because it’s more fun to dance with someone whom you already know. Someone else said to me once that even if a great lead dances with a great follow, if the two don’t know each other it won’t ever be on par with a pair who’s familiar with each other. And it’s not even just the dance part of it either–there’s the friendly human interaction part of it too. The doing ridiculous stupid stuff, the laughing at mistakes, the understanding when you meet each other’s eyes…it’s really like having a conversation with your partner, as someone else has (probably?) said before. And isn’t it more fun to talk to someone who actually knows you?
Then again, from time to time you encounter people who, for some reason or another, seem like they might have the potential to strike up something. It could be the way that their dressed (pretty skirt!). It could be the way that they look (pretty hair!). It could be the way that they act, or talk, or walk. But that interesting dynamic of “would I rather dance with -this- person or -that- person, based on a first impression”–it’s the same outside of dance as well, isn’t it?
And you can feel it when you’re on the other side too–you can tell when someone already has that sort of network set up. When you look around and you notice that guy who’s always going up to particular people–no, not just going up to them, but -looking- for them–you know that he already has that network around him. Just as when you sit down at a dining table to have a meal, you can tell that there are some people who are already engaged in their own tight little clusters.
Then again, it probably all weighs much more on someone as reserved as me than it does for other people, who might just decide to jump in anyways, say hello, and introduce themselves, instead of feeling those invisible barriers. That’s the way I live my life…