Not going to take that anymore

It’s been a while since I’ve had any band dreams.  This time it was symphonic band and we were sightreading some FF4 medley or something…for some reason I was just completely missing an entrance and he-who-shall-not-be-named was giving me crap about it and even said something that was just insulting.  I remember actually picking my flute up and almost smashing it to the ground right then and there in anger, but fortunately I stopped myself and instead just walked out without saying anything.

It was kind of symbolic to me, really.  It was like “No, I’m not going to take this shit anymore.”  I felt a little bit more mature, in a way.  One of my last thoughts before waking was regret and disappointment–since I’d been a college student for years now, that meant that none of it was real and so my action wouldn’t carry any significance or consequences.  I guess when I recall those times I still want to fight back against what I see as an evil in my eyes.

Don’t worry though–I’ve long since moved on and all of those wounds that I let myself take are healed and even the scars have mostly faded away.

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