When you’re as quiet and observant as I am, you can hear and see a lot of things that other people don’t.  You can key in on things that other people wouldn’t, just because they’d be too busy going about with their own things.  Being passive gives you this kind of ability.

When I really care about people, I can observe them more keenly than they might even realize.  In crowded places, I keep tabs on where they are and how they seem to be feeling.  I can keep track of whether they’re online or not; when they sign on and off from facebook, when they go to bed, when their door is open and when their door is closed, who they’re talking to, whether they’re getting work done, how stressed they are.

Someday, someone will be observant of -me- in this way.  And I mean besides my mother, who can’t seem to just shut up instead of reminding me to “drink some water” as the last thing she says to me before parting, as if I can’t be trusted to take care of my own body like I have been for the past eleventy billion years.  Although my mother is rather observant too, she’s not passive at all, so it’s not the same kind of observation.  And she fails to observe the important things…everything in life is portrayed according to whatever lens she happens to be wearing at the time.

Not me.  Even when I am looking at the world through a lens, I know that the lens is there.  I know what shape the lens is, how it tints and distorts the light, and can even reconstruct the original image with high probability.

Such is the kind of insight that I get, as Lala.

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