Inspired by a recent conversation with my new sister (somehow over the years I’ve gotten 3 or 4 older sisters of sorts…^^;).
Back in September of 2006 (almost 5 years ago!) my brother posted the results of an online love language test. He scored as follows:
|Acts of Service:||8|
|Words of Affirmation:||4|
He says: Somebody show me a result that differs wildly from this. Is anybody really going to be so shallow as to score incredibly high on gifts??
Actually, now that I think of it, receiving gifts doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to desire. When I think about all the letters and birthday presents and such that I give to people, yeah…I always think it would be nice–very nice, if someone were there to do that sort of thing for me. No one will, but it’s okay–not everyone can be like me =)
Anyhow, I also took the test, and scored as follows:
Physical Touch: 12
Quality Time: 8
Words of Affirmation: 5
Receiving Gifts: 4
Acts of Service: 1
Now, five years later, I recently took an updated version of the test (but the questions were basically exactly the same from what I remember), and here’s my new scores:
6 – Words of Affirmation
6 – Quality Time
5 – Receiving Gifts
2 – Acts of Service
11 – Physical Touch
So in other words, it didn’t really change much at all. I’m surprised that physical touch was so important to me 5 years ago–I would have thought that it was a lot more important to be now, especially since my angel has been spoiling me all this time in that regard. I have to admit, though, the choices that were between physical touch and words of affirmation were really hard to choose between sometimes.
I’m not exactly sure why physical touch has been so important to me, but it definitely is–I need to be held; I need to have something, someone to hold onto. It’s become a deeply-rooted need.
Words of affirmation are important to me too, because they are a source of feeling loved, and validated, which is something key to me as an enneagram number 2. It basically says to me, “you are loved. don’t forget that. we appreciate you for who you are, and we are thankful for all of the things that you do. it’s not all in vain.”
Quality time is important to avoid loneliness. I always have a desire to stay with people; it’s hard for me to leave.
And gifts are nice simply because I give them out all the time, so I wish I could have some too.
Interesting is the fact that acts of service is so low. I think it’s because I’m so used to being the giver in my relationships, that it just feels awkward to have people do things for me. It never really happens; I’m not used to it because I don’t want to burden other people. It might even make me feel bad.
I also took the “apology language” test, and got this:
This one was interesting because I think the scenarios they gave really, really influenced my decisions. For example, for the case where they ruined a precious object, making restitution was important because in that case the real hurt would be my regret that said object was ruined (think: really cute hello kitty plushie). Whereas if it’s something like being stood up, or saying something hurtful, then i’m more focused on the person not caring enough or not being nice enough as opposed to what actually happened. Requesting Apology was really low–I never considered “will you forgive me?” to really be something that helps me get over something.