Loved

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9NDWqhcbtc

I know I’ve posted it before, but somehow this song is still “dangerous” to me.  Every time I hear it, suddenly my heart is captured.

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Tonight went from happy, to distressed, to elated.

I don’t know why.  I’m afraid to ask why.  It’s not the first time that “that” happened.  But it’s the first time that it happened in =that= way.  And it was one of those times that you desperately don’t want to end while it’s happening, that you cling onto while it’s ending, and that encompasses your thoughts when it’s gone.  It probably wasn’t even a big deal.  Maybe it wasn’t important at all.  But somehow, it meant the world to me.  So much that I almost stopped to ask myself, why–how–what did I do to deserve this?  So much that I wanted to start crying out of happiness.

As an enneagram number 2, my core, essential, fundamental, basic desire in life is to be loved.  The precious moments when that desire is fulfilled are the ones that make everything else worthwhile.  I never want to forget that feeling.  Even if for just a little bit, even if it was just me being spoiled, that forever-longing was not a longing anymore.

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(as a side note that i almost hesitate to put here, apparently number 2s have issues with possessiveness.  I don’t even remember that being the case but that’s just another piece of the puzzle that fits, isn’t it?)

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