I live on the internet. I -know- what’s going on. You might think it’s somehow amazing to check up on everything, but it’s really not that hard. Checking my 30 daily sites each day? Okay, maybe that’s a -tad- time-consuming, but not really. I mean really. And that’s not even the half of it, is it? When you sign on or off of an IM client, I get a little notification that pops up, and I know. And every 60 seconds when my client auto-checks for new email, I know. I know right then that I’ve gotten a message, who it’s from, what the subject is, and even the first few words. Yes, even if I’m in the middle of doing something else. And what’s more? FB chat is integrated too, so yes, I -know- when you have FB open. When it’s 3:00AM and I see “— has signed off” and I see your FB profile pic, I know that you’re probably turning in for the night. And when you make a new post, I don’t even have to go to hs.facebook.com (yes, because I still PROUDLY use that portal) to see it–nope, it just pops up right there, and I can see it right away, and comment on it right then and there.

Really now, it’s not that hard. Surely if I can keep track of it all, you can at least keep track of maybe -half- of what I’m doing, no? …no?

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