Monthly Archives: October 2010

Musical emotion

I made the realization a while ago that the reason I don’t like “mainstream” (whatever that may mean to me) american music isn’t the lyrics, or the popularity, or the voices, or the instrumentation, or the progressions, or the riffs.  I mean, of course, it is all of those things, but the root cause of all of it is the emotions that it tries to express.  They’re the wrong ones.  It’s the same reason that I don’t dance polka–because the emotion that it caters to is one that I don’t appreciate.  The same reason that I don’t go on roller coasters–I don’t appreciate the emotion.  The emotions are wrong.

Though it’s not quite always that simple either, because it’s not like I always have a really gentle soft mellow marshmallow-y “Lonely Rolling Star” Hello Kitty emotion.  I have my “kickass” emotions and sad emotions and emotions of despair and emotions of anger and “let’s get down” and all of that too.  So I guess perhaps it’s not really just the emotion itself, but also the expression of the emotion.

“Being Timm[ie] is a privilege, not a duty.”

Being Timm[ie] is really something special.  You can get a good idea if you really know me, but very few people know me well enough to have a good idea.  Some of my closest friends, even, don’t know me nearly well enough to have a good idea.  And this is a side note, but that’s because I don’t flaunt it in their faces.  Half of the things I do, you have noooo idea.  I’m just sitting back silently, and going about my business.

Anyways, you can get a good idea if you really know me, but you’ve got to experience it to fully appreciate it.

I used to think that part of being Timm[ie] was a duty.  -Because- I am so special, I need to do certain things.  Because if I don’t, who else will?

Nowadays, I like to think of it more as a privilege.  Yeah, I -get- to be this awesome.  And you’ll never hear me say it to you, but I’m damn proud of it.

This is, of course, saying the same thing as “One Girl in All the World” versus “All the World in One Girl”.

Language status

Secondary languages, I mean.

French is still probably the most proficient, just because I studied it for so long.  I forgot a lot of the subtleties, and I have to think about it more if I ever need to think about things like pronouns and such, but for the most part things come fairly naturally.  I still get that phenomenon where if I’m trying to think of something in japanese or chinese the french phrase will pop up first.

Chinese is the same as it’s always been, though the reading and writing is probably terribad now since it’s been so long.  I’m not really learning or practicing chinese like, ever, so it’s very stagnant.  But every so often I’ll see if I can overlap my canto and mandarin a little more–as in, learn some words in mandarin that i only knew in cantonese before.  But usually it doesn’t stick unless it’s something that’s at least somewhat familiar.

Japanese is getting a lot better–whereas Chinese is kind of like, I can respond to some questions and get a “general picture” of what you’re trying to say (but the details are never there), Japanese I can actually understand as long as you only use simple words.  And I can have a conversation like that!  It’s necessarily limited, but still interesting nonetheless.  I also started to practice kanji during class, yay.  The class is only learning easy-peasy kanji like 一人で and 月 and 日 and 木, so not really anything…so to keep myself interested (it makes class a lot more active and difficult) I’ve been practicing 宿題 and 買う and 起きる and 寝る and 朝御飯 and such.  yay…

Christmas Letters 2010

Need.  To.  Start.  Now.

Of course I’m already overdue on one bday letter (need to do that NOW) and there’s some more coming up.  Urgh.  But if I don’t start now I’m going to have to sacrifice on what I can pull off.

Somehow with my last flist purge I got down to <200 friends.  Which makes me really happy.  It’s starting to grow again unfortunately, but there’s nothing you can really do to stop that anyways.

I’m sitting here with a txt file of names that I’m pretty sure I want to write to.  There’s like 40+ of those.  Then there’s another list of people that I can conceivably also write to.  That’s another 40+.  Hahahaha, no I’m not doing 80 letters.  I’m not going to keep on upping the ante; last year was ridiculous enough.  I think for this year I’m going to focus a little more on really deciding who I want to write to.  I’ve got more friends now so unfortunately I’m going to have to be more selective.  And it helps me write more meaningful letters regardless, so…

EDIT: this is quite ridiculous.  I’m making a TIER LIST in order to decide who to write to.  Ridiculous.  Well, I’ve got about 30 people I want to write to for sure, so it looks like probably 40-ish is going to be a good number to shoot for.

Toradora episode 7 – want to know what game Taiga is playing xD.  Looks like it could be something like Puyo Puyo, but they’re blocks and not blobs, so perhaps it’s more like puzzle fighter?  Or maybe it’s actually kirby’s star stacker/kirby no kira kira kizzu.  OR maybe it’s even more obscure and it’s Ranma 1/2: Ougi Jaanken.  Also it uses sfx from Ragnarok Online xD

Yume Nikki / Di Gi Charat / Koge Donbo Harry Potter / Cosplay Meetup Tomorrow

Sleeping and then waking again at like 3:00AM can only be pulled off under certain circumstances, and is tricky to get right.  However, that feeling of having a big chunk of time to just work on stuff and get stuff done, is really nice.  And it’s ultimate alone-time.  It’s also the perfect time for laundry xD.  Got laundry done, ate a meal, did dishes, did most of japanese homework, watched some anime, put away receipts, fixed up angel wings a little bit, applied for a job, sent an email.

Was thinking about Yume Nikki a little bit and I thought it was really interesting how when I first played it I got this intense feeling of wonder and amazement–there was this whole strange and fantastical world for me to explore and it seemed like there was so much to do and see.  Just walking around, I wanted to see more and more; the slow walking speed was tiresome but not painfully so–I think it had its own effect on me.  But when I think back to FFX-2 (probably the last “real” RPG i’ve played in a long while…?) I definitely didn’t get that feeling at -all-.  The last RPG i got that feeling from was either the KirbyWarriorRPG series (but even then, not really that much), or perhaps Earthbound.  But even then…not as much as Yume Nikki.  It’s really interesting.

Finally watched Di Gi Charat, haha.  It’s cool, though the characters aren’t quite as lovable as Koge-Donbo’s other ones.  Random bonus side note: did you know that Koge-Donbo is a HP fan and has done Harry Potter fan art + doujinshi!?  Look at this: 

…so cute!  Anyways, the characters aren’t quite as lovable, but maybe they’ll become slightly better as I go through the different adaptations.  Maybe not though; I get the feeling that because it’s 100% slapstick without any real development (unlike Pita-Ten or Snow Fairy Sugar) I won’t get to see those same character traits that I admired so much–Shia’s softness and gentleness and pained self-sacrifice, Greta’s buried deep inwards care for Saga, etc.  But oh well.  So far my favorite character is Petit Charat, aka Puchiko:

tee hee~

But yes, while Di Gi Charat probably won’t impact me like Pita-Ten or Snow Fairy Sugar, maybe I’ll still appreciate the characters more as I get to know them.  And it does have a kind of Pani Poni Dash flavor to it, so maybe I’ll appreciate the characters in the same way that I laughed at Mesousa and Himeko in Pani Poni Dash.  Only, the Di Gi Charat characters are cuter xD

Cosplay meetup tomorrow (well, more like in 6 hours) at SJGL.  Thing is, I just discovered that SJGL is right by oakridge mall, so now I want to go shopping there!!!  There’s even a sanrio there; how could I pass up the opportunity!?  I’ve never been there; and it’s just as far away as great mall is =X…

Well, we’ll see how things will work out.  I might be able to get nee-san to pick me up or something.  Also complicating things is the matter that it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.  Eek.  But, probably the plan will be to bring a change of clothes in russ’s car, so that I can go to meetup for a few hours, then when they break for food I can change and then leave the costume with russ and then split off and just go shopping; then nee-san will pick me up and then I can swing by home and pick up my monitor, then head back to stanford before 8:00 for club meeting.  SOMETHING LIKE THAT.  oh god, logistics will be a nightmare.  Well, in any case I’m going to need to be well-stocked on sleep.  I already slept from like 11 till 3, so that’s 4 hours.  I need to wake at like 10 so that’s another 3.5 hours I’m getting.  Not bad!  Here’s wishing myself the best for tomorrow…

edit: also, I will wear pants tomorrow lol.  no sense in going pantsless when it’s supposed to be <70 degrees with rain.