Well, the weekend is here, finally.
I skipped out on the Kimball AIDA trip. I felt guilty about it, but I don’t regret skipping out on it at all. I hung out with Ellen instead and got to meet her sister. The buses got back from aida really late too–i probably would have been distressed if I had been out that long. And I definitely needed that nap. That nap was godly.
Saturday will probably be a catchup day. A time for me to relax myself by taking care of various things. What’s left of tonight is going to be catchup work as well. I’ve learned that there needs to be a balance between keeping my door open and walking around, and locking myself in and having some alone time. There needs to be a balance so that I can take care of things that I need to do for myself and myself only–otherwise those things never happen and that becomes slightly stressful to me.
This new background is from Pita-Ten. Pita-Ten isn’t something that you’d think of as an anime to go crazy over. It’s not epic. It’s not super-moe. It’s not action-y. It doesn’t have heart-wrenching romance. But it’s something like slice of life at its best, just as Tiny Snow Fairy Sugar, in that it introduces lovable characters to you and takes you through heartwarming stories that involve them.
In that sense I think Pita-Ten did (for me) a little worse than Tiny Snow Fairy Sugar, but a little better than Kamichama Karin. It’s not like Snow Fairy Sugar where I ended up eventually loving ALL of the characters (greta!), but I still ended up liking some of them very much. And I think the contrast between Misha and Shia is amazingly beautiful at times. Between the two, I am definitely a Shia; no doubt about it. Even when you look at this wallpaper you can see that I’m closer to being a Shia than a Misha.
Played a little bit of guitar tonight. I don’t know if it’s something I’d go through with. It’s possible, and perhaps I might, but I’m not convinced it’s something I should do yet. Funnily enough I’m worried about getting calluses on my fingers. I don’t want them.
I guess I should focus on working on clarinet again like I used to. And perhaps take out the flute every once in a long while. And mess around on the piano some more. Hm…but more important than that is to produce music, actually. I need to start producing more than just once a week for OHC. OHC is great but I need need need to do more than that.
Happiness is…interesting. The happier I become, the more afraid I become of how the happiness might end. It’s a very small fear…very small, but it still scales proportionally with the amount of happiness. Maybe that’s something to figure out this year. I need to figure out my happiness for next year. Because right now as I see it, I’m not sure whether I can have happiness for next year. I have my nee-san…I suppose I can trust in her for now. But right now I have a guardian angel and a mommy of sorts, and they won’t be there next year. It’s only natural to feel this way, and it’s not terrible…I try not to think about it, but every so often it gets on my mind. So I guess I’m still searching for something…someone perhaps. It’s not a desperate search anymore–just one that has a deadline of sorts.
The number one enemy to productivity–for me, at least–is complexity. Simple things are unbelievably easy to do, but when you’re faced with some task that’s complex or that you don’t know how to approach immediately, it becomes very, very, very easy to put it off until later. The corollary to this is that when you’re delegating tasks, if you don’t keep things very simple, they’re more likely to get thrown out the window. The same goes for conveying any sort of information, really.
I can function in different ways in a team. One is the DM leader figure. But I hate doing that. You will still see me do that occasionally, but I really don’t like to do it, and so it takes a certain kind of situation and buildup before you see that side of me. Otherwise, I excel at being the silent type who only says and does things that really need to be said and done. In a world with too many chiefs and not enough indians, I’m the best darned indian out there. I guess it makes sense when you think about it, that I was such an amazing section leader. I didn’t have to take charge of anything–I just saw things that needed to be done and did them.
I have problems with separation anxiety I think, haha. Who doesn’t, really? But it can get bad at times.
Yay for mind dumps. I’m blogging this in parts in between taking care of random things here and there. This that and the other.
I just had this idea for a visual novel where instead of making choices through the game, you answer a bunch of personality questions in the very beginning, and then your actions are dictated by that personality you establish. I think it would be really interesting to see. Don’t know if I can pull it off though. Damn creative writing…that’s one barrier I have yet to break, really.
Continuing to do random things…adding music to the music library, uploading pics onto facebook, updating todo list, folding laundry…everything.
Juliann described some of the emotional effects of having a menstrual cycle to me, and I became rather jealous. It seems silly, but I need to have those ups and downs as well–without those waves I can’t normally “break”.
I really want to be a part of that world. I think about it every day.