Monthly Archives: September 2010

OHC104

http://compo.thasauce.net/rounds/view/OHC104

WTF MAN todays theme is RAGE

Short theme this week, and one that I kind of did before in “Split the Earth”.  I actually think Split the Earth was a better RAEG entry, but that makes sense, as I was feeling more rage that week, hahaha.

I was also maybe not feeling quite as inspired as I could have been, since I finished up a song for my game early in the morning, and then after that did a good chunk of another song for the game.  So today involved lots of music-making ^^;

This week I wasn’t really feeling rage-y, but I did my best anyways.  I started out with a halftempo section, which ended up being a really great decision.  There’s some weird sound textures created with Element of Surprise and such, and then there’s a distort-glitch into a short 4-bar sidechained pad before we finally get into the UNTZ UNTZ.

The UNTZ UNTZ this week is, unfortunately, not that great.  Somehow I wasn’t really feeling it, and some of the ideas that I threw in there didn’t work as well as they should have.  Oh well.  It’s still pretty decent; just a little lacking compared to what it perhaps could have been.

After the UNTZ I do another really cool glitch back into halftime, which I think works really well =).  And I’m glad I made it back to the halftime section as I really like the drums here.  I add some other elements here and glitch up the drums a little, before ending with some glitch fx again.

Barely made 4 minutes this time.  Not that that’s really bad at all–haha; some months ago I was struggling to hit 2 minutes, after all.  Another fun entry.

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Slept a lot during the day yesterday.  Too hot to concentrate anyways.  The plan was to stay up real late and finish CS144, then hopefully write a song.  Plan didn’t really work out.  Ended up collapsing into bed at like 3:30 ish?  Half planned on waking at like 5 or 6 or something but ended up waking up at like 9:30 ish, lol.  But, managed to finish CS144.  Now have to take care of wushu stuff, then….??????? no idea.  Maybe work on a song?

 

Glad things worked out this way though, because god DAMN the construction outside is annoying.

30 Day Meme – 5

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 5 interesting facts about you.
Day 02- The meaning behind your LiveJournal name.
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends.
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why.
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days.
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends.
Day 12- How you found out about LJ and why you made one.
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 14- A picture of you and your family.
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.
Day 16- Another picture of yourself.
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them.
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future.
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot.
Day 24- A letter to your parents.
Day 25- What I would find in your bag.
Day 26- What you think about your friends.
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge.
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned.
Day 30- Who are you?

I haven’t been to many places at all.  Most of our family vacations are to Vegas or Reno.  We went to the east coast once but I hardly remember it.

So here’s a picture of an epic RO moment where I got off an awesome Redemptio while I was in a random party in Abbey dungeon.

Busy

How in the world did I get this busy?  I keep on saying that despite all of the business, I’m always going to be able to make enough time for the things that count…but I’m even wary of that now.

I’ve become just like everyone else–I’m a silly little Stanford student with no time to do anything.

Well, okay; perhaps I’m overreacting a bit here.  I don’t think I’m just like everyone else just yet.  But I’m very disturbed by this trend.  There’s a part of me that says that it’s not okay for things to go on this way; that it’s not -me-.  If I can’t find time to do the things that make me Timm[ie], then that’s just too depressing.

But then, some other part of me says that the busier I am, the less lonely and less sad I will be.  By throwing myself into things, I will be happier.  By letting life rush by, I will feel more exhiliration.  As Juliann put it:

“I find myself growing more and more enthusiastic about trying new things, meeting new people, and allowing myself to enjoy life. There are such gems present in each day, and one can find them only if one begins to love. One must love herself, love her new place in the world, and the new people she meets. Only then can she find happiness…”

But some part of me resists this deeply.  That is Juliann.  That is not me.  Although we are both guardian angels of sorts in our own right, we are different people, with different outlooks.  And although I can’t say I disagree with this quote in its entirely, I remember reading it for the first time, and being reminded of the differences between us.  These differences are very interesting, and warrant their own discussion, but I’ll save that for another time and another place.

Suffice to say that I don’t want to let life rush by.

It’s interesting because just recently I was explaining to Juliann and Ellen how I’m someone who’s satisfied with the natural flow of time.  For me, time never passes too quickly, or too slowly.  Though I sometimes find myself longing for an extra day or two, I never find that the end of summer comes too soon, or that break was over seemingly before it even started.  No; I’d rather just have things just the way they are.  And I think that that’s still true.  Yet somehow, the problem is that there’s not enough things being done in the finite amount of time that I have to work with.  Somehow between the staff work, the homework, going to classes, dealing with responsibilities, becoming closer with my friends, and all of the hobbies, there is just not -quite- enough to spread around.  There have been some days of catchup work, but not enough.  And so I can see things beginning to suffer.

And a normal person would sigh and feel a bit of regret, but forge onwards.  A normal person would continue, and inevitably lose a friendship here, drop a hobby there, let another project go unfinished.  But I refuse.  I can’t accept that.  And that’s why I can’t agree whole-heartedly with Juliann’s quote.  Because I’m cautious about trying new things.  Each new thing is one old thing that needs to be replaced.  Each new person is one old person that needs to be replaced.  Each additional person I try to write letters to means someone else isn’t getting the letter that they need to brighten their day.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a perfectionist–I can’t stand to drop things and leave them be.  I’ve gotta stick them out all the way.

The problem now is that I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.  Something’s gotta give…though I can try a bit harder, I don’t think I can try much harder realistically, so something’s gotta give.  And I don’t know -what-.  I guess I should just keep on trying to be on the lookout for things that I can eliminate.  The more baggage I can eliminate from my life, the more I’ll be able to spend time on the things that I care about.

Perhaps I should start with classes.  Gotta either skip em or be more productive in em.  Choose one or the other…

Shia made me cry…

Am I self-inducing these PMS-like emotional symptoms that Juliann was telling me about?  Haha…I don’t know…but I was watching an AMV (anime music video) of Shia from Pita-Ten, and I started to cry, almost.  Not a full-blown cry, but the startings of one.  So sad…so sad, when she had to disappear.  She is such an inward, fragile, kind soul.  She resonates with me in a very strong way…just look at her!

 

I guess, +1 to the list of characters that I daydream of cosplaying someday.  Yuki and Shia…and I guess Makoto.  Natalie says I should try cosplaying as my RO character, hahaha.

30 day meme – 4

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 5 interesting facts about you.
Day 02- The meaning behind your LiveJournal name.
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends.
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why.
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days.
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends.
Day 12- How you found out about LJ and why you made one.
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 14- A picture of you and your family.
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.
Day 16- Another picture of yourself.
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them.
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future.
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot.
Day 24- A letter to your parents.
Day 25- What I would find in your bag.
Day 26- What you think about your friends.
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge.
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned.
Day 30- Who are you?

Biting my nails.  I’ve done it constantly for the past i-dont-know-how-many-years and haven’t been able to quit since it’s so ingrained into my subconsciousness.  I’d probably keep my nails short anyways, because I don’t think I could stand having long nails when I play piano, guitar, etc etc etc.  But it’s still bad.

30 day meme – 3

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 5 interesting facts about you.
Day 02- The meaning behind your LiveJournal name.
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends.
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why.
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days.
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends.
Day 12- How you found out about LJ and why you made one.
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 14- A picture of you and your family.
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.
Day 16- Another picture of yourself.
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them.
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future.
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot.
Day 24- A letter to your parents.
Day 25- What I would find in your bag.
Day 26- What you think about your friends.
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge.
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned.
Day 30- Who are you?

Well, but I already kind of did this for day 1…

here, have a cosplay photo: