Moar hate

Yeah i really, really, really hate people. Whooooooo…

People fail at respecting other people and other people’s stuff. Can you think of how much of a better place the world would be if people were more considerate? It’s really not that hard, either–people just don’t give a crap!

People are too self-confident. This is most definitely just from my point of view since I’m the opposite, but I hate how people are too vocal–mostly in a bad way. This also ties in with being considerate.

People are too selfish, and too whiny. Why can’t you just deal with your own problems???

Also, somehow making small talk with adults tends to really annoy me. It’s not all adults; just most of them. I really place high importance on having genuine conversations with people–i don’t like talking crap or talking bs or trying to look smarter than I actually am, or any of that.

Nyyyarrrghh.

Each of the individual faults that people have is bad enough on its own, but usually they all exist in combination, which is why things are so bad. People are never happy with what they have, then they can’t keep quiet about it, so they whine about it. Then they’re selfish, so they make trouble for other people because they’re upset.

I’m soooooo bitter. And this also ties into why I’m always thinking I’m better than everyone else. It’s not so much that I think I’m all that; it’s just that I think everybody else fails at being decent human beings!

It’s not like there was some incident or time period in my life that caused me to become this way either–my misanthropy has been cultivated my entiiireee life. I was a loner in elementary school because people were either too dumb, too immature, or were busy bullying me. Then in middle school there weren’t quite as many dumb people, but I couldn’t understand what the hell was going on socially and there was that one horrible teacher who hated me because I was smart. I got bullied in middle school too. And there were two girls who I knew hated me because I was smart. In high school I was surrounded by dumb people, but there were also some people who were mean, and I also had encounters with a bunch of people who were bs. Of course, that’s also where I had to deal with he-who-shall-not-be-named (#1).

Now that I’m at Stanford, it’s better….but not really by that much. People are smarter…but there’s still a certain lack of sensibility at times. People are definitely still inconsiderate, and it’s really plain as day that people don’t care. Not really that they’re totally selfish (though they’re inconsiderate), but they just don’t care about you until you show up in their face. Oh, and there’s also he-who-shall-not-be-named #2, and she-who-shall-not-be-named.

One of my friends had a short chat with me and it made me feel really old, mentally. Or, maybe old isn’t the right term. I’ve always been a weird kid–in elementary school I was always a loner, in middle school I never really found a home for myself, and in high school I was developing these weird mental faculties and emotional devices. Of course, everyone’s thought processes and emotional responses and general way of life tends to vary a lot from person to person, but my personality has become so solidified in this passive, introverted peaceful way of going about things, that it’s somewhat awkward dealing with people who are the opposite way.

My friend said that when she was little she was told by traditional asian medicine people that she “had too much fire”. I, on the other hand, have no fire left! I used to have some, but I’ve totally gotten rid of it. I had a perfectly normal amount when I was a little kid, but somehow I grew quieter very quickly. Not that I mind that at all–I mean, I’m eternally grateful that things turned out that way. Being a quiet, absent-minded learner-type probably did enormous amounts of good for me as I was growing up. Of course, it also depraved me of a bunch of “normal” experiences, but this is the path that I’ve chosen to take.

Part of me growing quieter was just negative feedback and reinforcement–there were a lot of times when I’d speak out or speak up and then either get reprimanded for it (usually by my parents), or things would go wrong in some way (like answering a question in the wrong way). I was very much into self-improvement when I was younger–you could say I -didn’t- believe in accidents. Therefore, I gravitated towards something that would cause me less pain–and that was being quiet. So that was a big change that happened very early in my childhood.

In high school there was a much more subtler, but still very noticeable change, in that I started refusing to believe that sadness and anger were necessary emotions. That’s a whole other story though, and I’d rather not bemoan you all with the details.

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