Monthly Archives: January 2005

well, it’s the end of the weekend.  i’m tired…today was a loong day.  Some highlights? (because i wont bore you with the entire thing like usual)


-worked at the hospital for 7 hours.  yikes.  at least i got my physics notes done.


-played some ssbm.  heh.


-finished homework.


that’s uh.  it.


today was weird.  i dont know.  *shrug*.

i guess it’s okay.  for now, at least.  or maybe my feelings are just at a low now.  maybe lots of other things to keep me occupied?


like the math competition today.  whoo….well it was pretty fun…it seemed really short, tho.  50 minutes isn’t a lot when you compare it to the SAT…AIME…BAMO…etc…(half of you only know the first one. lol)  I got to cube, too.  which was fun.  heheh.  slamming the cube down after a good solve is just soooo great.


…oh yeah, i got 3rd place in 10th grade, too. =p
well, okay, more like “3rd place”…they do the grading a tiny bit weird, so it works out to be like 5th or =something=.


oh, and the ride home was disturbing.  yeah.


what else?  suddenly i feel in the mood for ownage.  i feel like doing backhands.  or better yet.  owning in SSBM.  marth/falco, here i come.


Oh, and i’m changing my thoughts on SSBM.  Shield-grabbing is more useful than wavedashing.  It is.  Although, wavedashing just looks and feels cool.  And L-canceling is just….well i dont even remember ever playing without l-canceling.  it’s so natural now.  just like rolling backwards to avoid attacks is natural for some of you.  unfortunately, you might have to overcome that instinct and replace it with a wavedash later on.  heheh.  and whoever says fox’s blaster is better than falco’s doesn’t know a thing.  *cough*franny*cough*.  I mean, come on.  SHL a few times from a distance for some damage.  Run up, SHL, they’re stunned, do a spike.  and if they shielded the spike?  shine em.


Oh yeah.  SHL.  short hop laser.  which is the only thing that turns falco’s blaster into a god-like approach device.  kinda like wavedashing is the only thing that makes my luigi so crazy to watch.


-the light above me keeps on flickering.  whoooooo…..


-tomorrow is going to be a loooooooooong day.  I gotta work 2 shifts at the hospital. 7 hours of fun.  and then stay there another half hour for my shift leader interview.  i hope i’m able to get some work done. (translation: i hope no one is there to tell me to not to hw.  7 hours without doing physics hw is just stupid)


Ooh, and good job to everyone who went to the IE today!!! (yeah…i had the math competition…i….didn’t go….*runs away in shame*)


Katamari Damancy is a weeeiird game.  but loads of fun.  heehee.


well, the plan is to take physics notes until later on in the night.  if i’m sleepy and can’t get up in the morning, i can always sleep at the hospital!  (it would actually be a good use of time)


I never knew they had a Naruto fighting game.  heheh.


almost 500 words.  just a bit more.


it’s kind of interesting to think….what would have happened if i hadn’t come here?  if i had gone to…like…homestead….lynbrook….?  as hard as it may be for some to believe, i like it here.  i really do.  i feel like i’ve found my place.  but would i be feeling the same way if i weren’t here?  would i still be the same person?  or would i remain some asian smart guy playing computer games to waste his time…devoid of feelings….emotions…


…not sure if this post really deserves it, but…


…fickle.

i’m getting closer and closer to that conclusion….


it’s not even a fine line….more like a murky, blurry, fuzzy swampish thingamajig that i can’t even tell if I’ve crossed or not.


*sigh*…


out of all the things to take care of….the one thing i really want to do….the thing that’s going to bug me all weekend…..i couldn’t manage to get done today…..yeah it wasn’t my fault that i couldn’t get it done….but…..that doesn’t change how i feel…

ok.  stuff.  here goes.


-During Java class i was cubing…and I was on a roll.  I was blasting out consistent sub-30s, with a good number of sub-25s, too.  The result is a new best average of 10 out of 12 solves: 24.801 seconds.  Simply awesome.  I’m officially sub-25 now.  Now to make the difficult reach towards sub-20…..or i could try another BLD.  lol.


-*sigh*…well tennis just isn’t going to work out….i like playing tennis, and i want to get better…but there’s just way too many things going against it that just make playing it a bad idea.  The main reasons being that I’m way too overloaded on stuff to do and spread out so thin i hardly have any time to actually do anything…and also because they need like 5 more people if they want to have a jv team.  Plus, i’m missing too much practice because of other commitments…and then there’s the whole throwing up thing, and i hurt my toe apparently today, and then there’s the fact that I suck (although i do make some killer shots. heh), etc etc etc.  It just won’t work.  Now i just have to deal with my parents, who think that the solution is to take track again instead of playing tennis.  I guess that’s just life…


-Tomorrow’s friday….last chance unless i want to think about it over the weekend.  And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to think about it over the weekend.  I mean i might already be beginning to make that conclusion…i’m afraid to admit it, but it’s probably true…
Time to sprint out of Physics class.


-Ants are popping up in random places around my computer.


-Physics hw.  as always.


-So my life went from being described by Suteki Da Ne to Simple and Clean…and now maybe Pure Heart?  Who knows.  what about Let Me Be With You (Chobits)?  haha….


-random blurt: This seems a little familiar, but well, why the heck do i post so much?  Maybe it’s because i’m just an interesting person.  heheh.  Or maybe it’s because I have so much stuff going on in my life.  Or maybe it’s because i’m just bored.  You choose.


-Yes.  Pure Heart.  I didn’t think so before, but it might actually be worth memorizing the japanese lyrics to. (just the pronounciation, of course)  Not that this has anything to do with my emo life or anything.  no, seriously.  really!


-dangit.  well this post can’t be over yet.  I haven’t even hit 500 words yet!


-I’m tired.  It’s late.  Sleeping is so fun…


-3200 solves on Cubie. =p


-updated the FHSURCS webpage.  for once.  i really should update it more often.  And I really should make a Rubik’s Cube Club.  you guys think so too?


-caught someone using Parisha’s word….although i guess it might be considered different because it was verbal.  -_-


-wow, i keep on almost hitting Ctrl-S as a trained reaction to whenever I finish typing a sentence.  heheh.  save often.


-yeah, i’m probably gonna half sleep during world history again.  I’ll probably rest my head on my hand and leave one eye like 1/5th of the way open.  Or I’ll cube.


-well, can’t think of anymore right now.  i’m tired.  i got past 500 words. =p


good night everyone.  (even though hella people are already sleeping).

hoooooooo boy.


it’s almost 10.  not very late.  but i’m already hella tired.


plus i have a little physics hw to finish up.  hold on.


*30 mins later*


ah, ok.


now then.


Tennis
Ha.  well practice is going ok, i guess.  i haven’t died again or anything.  I didn’t even get to go to most of practice today because of sat prep + piano lesson.  gotta work on getting that lesson time switched or something.  I suck at tennis right now.  but then there are those few times when i’m actually semi-consistent and then i own. (well, okay still relatively sucky, but still).  bleh.  but whatever.  i know i’ll get better.  heh.  and for some reason my backhand is hella better than before.  i think.  need to practice actually hitting the ball in.  that would be nice.


Cubing
haven’t really done anything BLD-wise.  Just mainly focusing on cubing.  and improving my F2L.  Haven’t gotten a single sub-20 solve yet.  but maybe i will in the near future.  I’m doing most of my cubing nowadays during java class.  just not enough time at home anymore…(although, last semester i was basically cubing during 3rd and 4th.  haha.)  beginning to incorporate alternate F2L algs based on the whole cube orientation.


Stuff
hooooooooo boy.  It’s even more interesting than i expected.  although some of the interesting parts might actually be bad.  haha.  oh well.  i’ll still feel good if i do the uh.  thingy.  yes.
*2 secs later*
….okay scratch that.  maybe it’s even more interesting than i expected about 5 seconds ago.
conclusion?  m(_ _)m x 3.  thanks Kat for making me fall flat on my face multiple times. =)


 


stuff.  people are awesome.  things are interesting.  tennis isn’t killing me entirely.  ocremix continues to own.  speedcubing practice.  stuff.


 


heheh.  fickle is gonna be reserved for…..well….when i feel like it.  i dont really know what the criterea is for me saying it…but i think i have a pretty good feel for it.  heh.

Okay, 2 things.  Weird format.  cool.


-=1=-
wow.  well apparently i got quite a few comments on yesterday’s post, even after I commented myself with “thanks.  in my next post you’ll see how i’m now in an ownage mode.  heheh.”
um.  thanks?  Uh…and if you couldn’t guess from that quote, I’m feeling better.


I own.


Iono.  Tennis today didn’t really kill me at all.  Well actually ok it came a =tiny, tiny= bit close sometimes.  but nothing bad.  but i mean, i wasn’t even there yesterday for the mile.  and today…well the mile?  um.  well i was slower than i’m used to (wow, i’m out of shape.  what a new concept.  no seriously.  well kinda not.  ok time to end this parentheses block.), but…okay, well i was still wearing 8 layers during the mile.  hahaha.  yeah, but my face got all red again, so i de-layered some.  playing tennis was cool.  although i suck.  meh, i’ll get better soon. (i think).  then conditioning.  come to think of it, we didn’t even do much. (maybe because it started raining?)  We just did some sprints.  then side to side shuffling (shffl.  reminds me of ssbm.  heh.), and uh…yeah.  maybe it was the liners that did it to me yesterday.  lol.  iono.  w/e.  tomorrow i’m gonna have to skip most of practice anyways for the sat prep course…and then a piano lesson.


 


(random: btw, I might not be able to get to school that early because of a dental appointment so t…ell….uh….Kris…ti…na……hmmm….*realizes that it’s now 11:34 PM*.  ah, forget it.  I’ll try to be there.)


-=2=-


ha.  well i’m not gonna make you listen to anymore complaining.  i mean, you probably want more interesting things about my life, right?  um…well, this is all you get.  it’s vague.  cryptic.  blah.  but hey, maybe some people will get what i’m talking about!  if you dont.  blah.


anyways.


the new thing (the =new= thing or the new =thing=??).  well…i have mixed feelings…or i think i do.  ok in actuality i dont really have an idea of how i feel.  but it’s okay.  because i dont have to decide how i feel right now.  so that’s fine.  as long as i get the chance to do something about it.  before it’s too late.  “too late”….it pains me to type those words.  it pains me to look at those words.  not a deep pain.  but still.  (no commenting on too late?)


it’s…..interesting.  yes.


 


um….well my posts have gotten weirder lately. sooo….i’m either glad or sorry.  you choose.


 


…..hmmmm…….


…..——.


^ awesomeness (but not awesome-list-ness) to whoever knows what that 5-letter word is.


btw.  i seem to be typing my posts more often at like 11:30.  heh.

%$@#.


I feel like shit right now.


If you know me, you probably think just from that statement that this is serious.  Iono.  i dont care.  read.  dont read.  whatever.


I was planning to type details later, but i guess someone else is using the shower right now.  which means i’ll complain now.


Well, duh, it’s about tennis practice.  Yeah, i was EXPECTING to be dead.  I was expecting to feel sore in every muscle.  I was even expecting to collapse on the ground and not be able to get up.  But I never expected this.


It started innocently enough.  In fact, i didn’t even go to the first half of practice because I was at the SAT prep thing (w/tracy + liz).  Then we just rallied for a while.  Then came liners, running, squatting, jumping, and all the other miscellaneous stuff that kills you.  The thing is, it wasn’t even that hard.  We were taking it easy because it was only the first day…it didn’t even seem like that much to me.  I’ve had a lot worse, with 12-hour marching band practices, practicing martial arts with college students, track practice, blah blah blah.  I guess just ever since I had surgery this past summer, my body’s been crap.  I can still =function=.  I mean, I can run, do ddr, do anything.  My muscles hurting isn’t the problem either.  It’s just the feeling nautious, vomiting, headache, fainting side of things that I can’t deal with.


soooo.  yeah.  this time around was the worst I’ve ever felt it.  Even though this is far from the hardest workout I’ve had.  Hell, I still feel woozy.  And it’s been an hour since practice ended.  I need to type this out, even though the monitor keeps on twirling around.  So yeah.  I was dead, blah blah, i vomited, only this time I couldn’t even get up to walk over to the trash can.  *ugh*.  But i’ve vomited before.  no -really big- deal.  Although, i guess it really is a big problem.  I mean, I’m already really underweight.  the last thing I wanna do is keep on vomiting.


But that wasn’t it.  Afterwards i started coughing.  I -swear- i thought I tasted blood.  hm.  And then I had this killer headache.  Earlier someone said my face was hella red.  Which makes sense actually.  Because every time i do something that makes me dead, i feel my face like…uh…pulsing?  Iono.  I guess the blood rushes to my head and makes me all red.  Not to mention it gives me a headache and makes me nautious.  For example, after doing that Legend of Max attempt on ddr at the movie theathre, Isabelle took a pic of me and my face looked hella red.


So yeah.  Um.  vomiting, headache, coughing…and now I FEEL COLD.  I’m wearing like 7 layers and I feel cold.  uuuuuggggghhhhhhh………………


Stuff.  Maybe I was planning on complaining some more.  But that seems like enough.


The point is.  I dunno why this is happening.  Maybe I’m pushing myself too hard?  I really dont know.  I guess I’ve just had a history of being this way.  Or something.  The worst part is that I dont know what the hell I can do to stop it.  I’m pissed off.


And that’s my whinings.  usually i post a long meaningful thoughtful entry about a few random topics.  Needless to say, i’m not exactly in the mood for that right now.  I will say, though, I didn’t even get to see the person i want to gush to today.  But I will tomorrow.  and that was completely random.  whatever.


no fickle today.


screw apush in advance.


this sucks.


edit:  more useless ramblings.


tomorrow.  what should i expect?  There’s the tiny bit of good that =might= result if I can get myself to shoot for it.  And then there’s the inevitable bad parts.  How bad they’ll be…well i don’t know for sure.


edit 2: even more useless ramblings.
(but does that mean that there’s additional useless ramblings, or does it mean that these ramblings are more useless than the other ones?) XD


wow.  it’s already 11:00.  and it’s been like 3 minutes since that last edit.  I feel tired.  I don’t really have anything else to do tonight.  So why am I reluctant to go to sleep?  Maybe I’m fearing tomorrow.


But…sleep is comforting…


…so good night.

Well.  Not much changed from yesterday to today.  I could just go on a long rant about all the same topics that I covered yesterday.  But I’m not.  Instead I’m just gonna make a long rant about some new random topics. =)


(hm.  I seem to be in a mood where I’m using lots of periods.  interesting.)


Okay.  I lied.  I’m still gonna say…i still feel like gushing to {name}.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ll get a chance.  Maybe even tomorrow.  Sure would feel nice.


Anyways.


-I’m soooooo behind on updating the FHSURCS website.  It’s not even funny.  Although, now if you search for “FHSURCS” on google, the site shows up.  awesome.


-New cube: “Simple and Clean” will be it’s name. =)
It turned out pretty good.  It’s one of those “crispy” cubes.  It’s quick and jerky, whereas Cubie is more fluid and smooth.  *shrugs*  It’s quite noisy, too.  heh.


-Did physics notes today.  whoo.


-Practiced like a tiny bit of piano.  yay.  well, okay actually more like “ugh”.  And I still need to like go and practice flute for like half an hour.  In fact, I’m sitting here with my flute right now.  heehee.


-BLD progress: still practicing.  Won’t try a full-blown blindfold solve yet.  I just need practice visualizing the pieces in my head.  And also practice remembering how to undo the move sequences that I do.


-i know that wasn’t all.  I’ll try to remember.  hold on.


-um.


-ah, crap.  I’ll practice for a while.  and resume this when I think of something.


-hm.  ok.  i thought of two things.


-I need a haircut soon.  I think.  iono.


-I think it’s a general rule of thumb that if I spent the entire weekend not practicing flute, then I pick up my flue sunday night, I will sound awesome.  whee!


-oh, here’s something: tennis.  as in…tomorrow.  as in…running?  as in…not even getting to hit the ball?  as in…vomiting?  as in…dead.  interesting.
the fun part?  getting to show off my massive layer skills.  dehydration?  hah.  I laugh in the face of dehydration.  5 layers?  no sweat. (whoa, I made a pun.  neat!)


-went through the book Kristina gave me.  ehhh….a few interesting pieces in there, i think.  hmm…flute sectionals for concert band are supposed to be mondays after school.  and I have tennis.  and steph has…something.  well, guess we can’t lead sectionals, then.  bummer.  I can be just as picky as K.  no, seriously.  heheh…”it’s staccato.” “but hold out the last note.” “and doesn’t it start at piano and crescendo to forte?” “great, now back off on the last note.”
btw, all those comments were on the same 7-note measure. =p


-wow.  in about 10 hours i’ll be in school.  maybe that’ll be a good thing.  well actually, it wont.  there’s this weird project in history that isn’t very serious, judging from the looks of it.  but still.  i dont really wanna deal w/it.  i’d rather perfect my bld. =p


-but then again, in about 11 hours it’ll be brunch.  yay!


-I was like OMGWTFBBQ! when I learned Angel is good at SSBM.  And she =shield-grabs=.  I mean, it’s not like she wavedashes, but that probably means she could beat llama.  haha.  if only I could train someone to be on the same level as me…


-I got hella pictures (and a few really crappy fuzzy vids) of the Rubik’s Cube competition I went to.  yay!  I’ll try and get em uploaded sometime.  unless i forget.


-whoo!  I just got something else done.


-it’s now 10:00.


-the awesome list:  heheh, i should make a list of ‘awesome people’…you probably already know who you are.  if you dont.  um.  then you’re a cool person.  there’s a different, weirder, vague definition of ‘awesome’ that i’m using. XD….


-fickle.

*sigh*…okay, well this is my day so far:


-got up really, really late.  I dont even know why.  I went to bed earlier than usual, like at 10:00 (yeah, I meant to go to bed at like 8:30, but I kinda got sidetracked =p), yet I ended up waking up at 12:30.  Weird.  Plus, I think I would have slept some more if someone hadn’t opened my door and let all the noise coming from downstairs wake me up. =_=;


Then, I ate a little uh….breakfast…grabbed my stuff, and went off to Stanford for this informal Math Circle meeting.


The bad parts of the meeting:
-Even though I brought other stuff to do (physics, piano theory), i didn’t really get to do any of it. *shrug*
-I really feel now that it was a huge waste of time.  For the 6 hours that I spent over there, all I really got to do was eat lunch…and then solve like 5 actual math problems…and then have a guest speaker who made us play math games which weren’t that interesting most of the time.  Look at the good parts of the meeting below, and you’ll see none of them are actually related to the “math” part of it (the lecture, the problems, etc).
-There was this one point where I just suddenly thought to myself……why the heck am I here?  I have so many other things I need to do and could be doing right now, instead of spending time with a bunch of um….”interesting” individuals.  Like physics hw.  And choosing a piece from the book that Kristina gave me.  And finishing my piano theory book.  And TENNIS, seeing as how practice starts on monday, which means I’ll die.


The good parts of the meeting:
-I got a new cube.  The last time the organizer of the math circle had seen me, I was still using my really crappy cube, so she promised to give me a new one.  Even out of the box, it turned pretty well.  I just lubricated it and I’m waiting for it to dry (right after lubrication it’s actually really hard to turn).  The only thing that might be a bad thing is that it has flat (non-arched) centers.  From what I’ve heard, this does two things: it makes the cube lock up less often (which is good), but it makes the cube pop more often (which is bad).  I’ve never really used non-arched centers before, and I’m used to Cubie, which does have arches, so I don’t know how it’ll turn out.  We’ll see, I guess.  In any case, it’s a new cube, which is still a good thing.
-Along those lines, I got to cube a bit during the meeting.  It’s actually really fun to do one cube, then another, then stop the timer, maybe just because after you’re done with the first one you get to slam it down and pick up the next one really fast.  Classy. =)
-The drive home.  This might seem familiar if you read my other post, but….sitting in a car at night listening to music while squeezing and laying my head down on a pillow is just sooo comfortable.


So yeah.  That was the meeting.  And there went most of my day.  *sigh*.  Well, I still have time to get stuff done today, I guess…it’s only 7:15.  I can eat dinner and get some physics done.  Tomorrow, it’s working at the hospital in the morning, and then hopefully, getting to run/play tennis at ortega.


*sigh* I still feeling like gushing to {insert OTHER name here}…but I just can’t imagine myself doing it…I know it’s normal to feel awkward, but…….well, I guess I really am shy….I mean, I have guts…but………most of the time that doesn’t change anything…..


…lately I’ve been wishing more often that weekends would just end.


-A note to random people: Don’t talk to me about college/next year/the distant future.  It’s depressing.  Really.  When I’m a senior, I probably will want to leave here.  All that’s left for me will be memories.  People moving away, people moving on.  I just don’t want to think about it.  I’ve learrned to throw away the asian mentality of thinking about SATs, college apps,etc all the time, and just live in the moment.  So far, it’s worked.  I’ve had fun.  Heck, I even did pretty well on my sat practice test.  I’m an awesome person.  I have awesome people as friends.  …..awesome.  I don’t really know what other word I could use.


-Gotta plan april out sometime later….waaay too many birthdays, plus one or more of them might coincide with spring break, so it’d be good if we all just do one huge b-day party. (mine’s on the 20th, GG #1’s is on the 10th).  But that’s something to think about later.


Do you guys have fun reading all the stuff I post on here?  Because I realize I do post quite a lot.  It’s fun for me, too actually.  A lot of it is disjointed and some of it you may not understand.  But these are my thoughts….


….wow, the posting mood I’m in today is quite different from usual.  Whatever happened to ownage posts, anyways? O_o


….hm….this post just won’t end, will it.


Guess that just says how much I feel like telling people about my life.  Or something.  …


…..okay, I just ran out of steam with that last comment.  It didn’t even make sense.  This post is now over.



…okay, it’s almost over.



…fickle. =)

Ok, well I’m gonna try to go to bed really early today.  It’s 8:00, I’m gonna take a shower then go to bed.  For a couple reasons…like the possibility of doing something tomorrow morning (tennis?), and the fact that i got a slight case of FPS headache (it’s this weird condition I have…i’m allergic to FPS games.  But only certain ones.  I can play CS all day, but Half-Life and The Specialist usually make me a little nautious.  I knew it was really bad back when my brother was in college, and the smell of the dorm room combined with playing half-life to make me really sick.), plus my mom telling me to go to bed. =p


So, a few things to say:


-Got the clarinet/flute duet book from Kristina.  Whoo….gotta remember to practice flute at least twice over this weekend.  That should be enough.  Gotta do piano stuff too.  ugh.  and physics hw. (lol, mmc pointed to the left side of the paper where he had the margin, and he said “just make sure the margin is on the =right= side.”  I’m sure a lot of people were confused.  heh.  I asked him afterwards and he was like “did I say right?  hm….must have been thinking about my mental right…” O_o)


-Looking to start an FHS Rubik’s Cube Club…already got the form, now I just need to uh…..do stuff.
Speaking of cubing, I might try another blindfold solve over this weekend.  *crosses fingers*


-Starting to develop my reputation in Computer Science AP (/ Java programming) as the “praying mantis”, listening to kick-ass music while hunched over my laptop, eyes locked on the screen, coding like no one’s business.  Yeah, my typing speed is fast, but where I really excel is my coding speed.  Copy, paste, and replace statements in rhythm.  Owns.  Plus, while I wait for my programs to compile I solve my cube.  heh. 


-Tennis starts monday.  whoo frickin hoo.  note the extreme sarcasm.  Well, I guess i really should run this weekend.  Although…i never run.  Plus, i hardly have any time this weekend.  bleh.  It doesn’t matter.  Saturday morning or sunday afternoon I’ll go out and listen to hella kick-ass music and run.  I’ll stop after I feel like I’ve played a Max300.  I wanna actually play tennis too, but….there’s no one else to play w/.  I don’t even know if I still suck/own.


-What is it about guys and liking dumb blonde ditzy girls?  I mean…seriously…….lame…..
people need to understand the concept of kawaii…


-interesting dreams….(no, not dirty dreams)….
…..<(=_=)>…..so warm…


-I feel like gushing about my feelings out to someone……well, actually, I kinda feel like gushing out to two different people…..*sigh* i really am shy….but then…i have guts too……a weird combination…..but now it’s the weekend, and all I have is my pillow…i just hope i don’t let all these chances to talk w/people pass by….or before I know it it’ll be too late…


and now it’s 8:30….wow I spent half an hour on this…


i guess….cya later all…