Monthly Archives: September 2004

Reasons why I own:

1. My screen name is 202 letters long.

SeriousDDRKirbyConTrickster4MagicFantasyManaTriggerBillyBlastAargonMech RyokoOrionStarFortressBoundMarioPrimeSystemCubeSmashingVertigoGTSlugUnreal CSManiAzonPiSim17ccEarthManTetrisCookieBricksRemixForever

2. I have 108 digits of pi memorized.

Pi = 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105 82097494459320781640628620899862803482534211706798214808…

(yeah, had to split those things up or else it would screw up all the margin crap and shit…I think.)

3. I can solve a Rubik’s cube in an average of 50 seconds (my best is 29)

4. I own in SSBM.  Yes, I know what wavedashing is, and if you don’t, I can own you.

5. I own at Beatmania.  If you don’t know what that is, you’re a 114m4.  if you don’t know what =that= is…well, I can’t help you there.

Reasons why I don’t own:

1. I suck at ddr, even though everyone thinks I hella kick ass at it.  Sure, I can pass Paranoia Evolution on Heavy, but do you see me getting AA’s on Max300?

2. I still have dial-up.  Which means I can’t even try owning at CS, UT, or anything else.

3. …uh…I’m not gonna tell you this one.  No, it exists, you idiot, I’m just not telling you.  Seriously.

…you still don’t believe me.

…shut up.


The toothpaste conspiracy:
“flavor” is an inactive ingredient in toothpaste.

DDRKirbyISQ: god
DDRKirbyISQ: what kind of company puts “flavor” in their toothpaste
DDRKirbyISQ: it’s probably some messed up compound that has properties similar to sulfiric acid
Apollo7z7: umm
DDRKirbyISQ: and that’s how it kills plaque
Apollo7z7: well
Apollo7z7: otherwise it would taste like the vat they make it in
DDRKirbyISQ: “flavor” doesn’t mean like, sugar
DDRKirbyISQ: otherwise they could just say “sugar”
DDRKirbyISQ: god
DDRKirbyISQ: which means they must be trying to hide something
Apollo7z7: yea
Apollo7z7: the vat flavor
DDRKirbyISQ: rotfl
DDRKirbyISQ: Full Lightweight Ass-Vat Of Rum
Apollo7z7: lol
DDRKirbyISQ: Flaming Lard-filled Ass-Vat Of Rum
DDRKirbyISQ: and they pass it off as “flavor”
DDRKirbyISQ: rotfl
DDRKirbyISQ: I’m thinking of getting xanga just to post this convo
Apollo7z7: heh hhe
Apollo7z7: do it
DDRKirbyISQ: look
Apollo7z7: lol
DDRKirbyISQ: Flaming Lard-filled Ass-Vat Of Rum
DDRKirbyISQ: and they pass it off as “flavor”
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: LOL
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: why the f*** does toothpaste have sorbitol!?
DDRKirbyISQ: lol
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: isn’t that stuff that makes you fart?
DDRKirbyISQ: rotfl
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: mints have it too
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: they just put it in random stuff
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: to piss you off
DDRKirbyISQ: well
Apollo7z7: xanga is great because you can say almost anything with relatively few consequences
DDRKirbyISQ: according to this,
DDRKirbyISQ: Sorbitol is a sugar alcohol the body uses slowly. It is an artificial sweetener used in diet foods. It is called a nutritive sweetener because it has four calories in every gram, just like table sugar and starch.

Sorbitol is also produced by the body. Too much sorbitol in cells can cause damage. Diabetic retinopathy and neuropathy may be related to too much sorbitol in the cells of the eyes and nerves
DDRKirbyISQ: so it’s an artificial sweetener
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: oohh
DDRKirbyISQ: which means, that they SHOULDN’t NEED “flavor”!!!!
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: thank god
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: omg
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: YEAH!
DDRKirbyISQ: this is becoming more and more suspicious
DDRKirbyISQ: it’s a conspiracy
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: lol
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: Sorbitol is also produced by the body.
DDRKirbyISQ: they’re probably implanting tiny nanites into the “flavor”
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: that explains a lot…
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: nanites?
DDRKirbyISQ: and then one day we’ll wake up and they’ll rewire our brains and make us slaves
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: lol
DDRKirbyISQ: I mean come on, it would be so easy
DDRKirbyISQ: because the mouth is so close to your brain
DDRKirbyISQ: so the nanites dont have to travel as far
DDRKirbyISQ: god
DDRKirbyISQ: thank goodness I dont use that brand
DDRKirbyISQ: …or do i….
DDRKirbyISQ: crap lemme go check
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: LOL!!
DDRKirbyISQ: fuck
DDRKirbyISQ: I dont use that brand
DDRKirbyISQ: but this is even worse
DDRKirbyISQ: my toothpaste doesn’t even say the inactive ingredients
DDRKirbyISQ: and the worst part is
DDRKirbyISQ: it says
DDRKirbyISQ: “store in a dry, cool place”
DDRKirbyISQ: god
DDRKirbyISQ: of course
DDRKirbyISQ: it’d have to be dry, because moisture could short-circuit the nanites
DDRKirbyISQ: and you’d have to keep them cool so they won’t overheat
DDRKirbyISQ: frick
NaTuRLySToNed7z7: lol
Apollo7z7: only trouble is
Apollo7z7: you get toothpaste wet when you brush your teeth with it
DDRKirbyISQ: hmm…
DDRKirbyISQ: you have a point
DDRKirbyISQ: so then it wouldn’t matter if you keep it dry or not
DDRKirbyISQ: unless of course, they just don’t want you diluting it
Apollo7z7: unless it decides to spontaneoulsy combust
DDRKirbyISQ: the other stuff in the toothpaste probably acts as a carrier for the nanites
Apollo7z7: thats prolyl why you cant
Apollo7z7: heat it up
DDRKirbyISQ: dude, you should try microwaving toothpaste
DDRKirbyISQ: and it’ll like explode
Apollo7z7: umm
Apollo7z7: ill let you do that
DDRKirbyISQ: no, I’ve already experimented with microwaving enuff
DDRKirbyISQ: did you know that you can melt aluminum in microwaves?
DDRKirbyISQ: but you can’t melt stainless steel
Apollo7z7: !
Apollo7z7: timmy
Apollo7z7: where can i get stainless steel
DDRKirbyISQ: it just sparks and stuff

Starcraft bogus rant 1: Overmind Broodlings

DDRKirbyISQ: I owned 2 comps

DDRKirbyISQ: as in PWNED

Hermes7z7: hahahahha

Hermes7z7: awesome

DDRKirbyISQ: ling rushed the toss one

DDRKirbyISQ: 8 lings vs 2 zealots….hmm…

DDRKirbyISQ: and then I noticed that my mass hydras were getting wasted by sunkens

DDRKirbyISQ: so I massed mutas and owned

Hermes7z7: with ppl you gotta change ALOT tho

DDRKirbyISQ: yeah

DDRKirbyISQ: I kno

DDRKirbyISQ: comps dont mass cannons

DDRKirbyISQ: although comps do use psionic storm…ugh

DDRKirbyISQ: and comps like corsairs

DDRKirbyISQ: hydras would be unstoppable with runewords

Hermes7z7: hahaha

Hermes7z7: yea

DDRKirbyISQ: dark swarm + zealots

DDRKirbyISQ: ownz

DDRKirbyISQ: but the best is

DDRKirbyISQ: civilian + defensive matrix

DDRKirbyISQ: it’s like a nuke x 10

DDRKirbyISQ: hallucinating a bunker is almost as good

DDRKirbyISQ: in fact

DDRKirbyISQ: you should hallucinate a bunker,

DDRKirbyISQ: then put cilivilians with defensive matrix inside

DDRKirbyISQ: then fly it into your enemy’s base

DDRKirbyISQ: they’ll be like, “crap, there’s a flying bunker!”

DDRKirbyISQ: then they’ll try to shoot it down.

DDRKirbyISQ: that’s when you unload your civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: then they’re screwed

DDRKirbyISQ: especially if you have parasites on the civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: but the ABSOLUTE best unit

DDRKirbyISQ: is the overmind broodling

DDRKirbyISQ: just cast spawn broodling on the overmind,

DDRKirbyISQ: and there are these HUUUUGE broodlings that do about 10 times as much damage as ultralisks

DDRKirbyISQ: and if you have adrenal glands, they attack just as fast as a zergling

DDRKirbyISQ: and they’re basically invincible

DDRKirbyISQ: they have 1000 hp

DDRKirbyISQ: and it regenerates 10 every second

DDRKirbyISQ: and the only way to kill them is with dark templar

DDRKirbyISQ: but even then, you have to kill all 6 of them at once

DDRKirbyISQ: otherwise they just multiply

DDRKirbyISQ: of course, you could try using 10 nukes

DDRKirbyISQ: but by the time you launch them, both your ghosts AND your nuclear silos will be dead

DDRKirbyISQ: along with most of your base

DDRKirbyISQ: which is why dark templar are the way to go

DDRKirbyISQ: and dont even think about using air

DDRKirbyISQ: their air attack spores do like, 500 damage

DDRKirbyISQ: plus, they shoot in a cluster like valk missiles

Hermes7z7: timmy your thinking of good damage things

Hermes7z7: but it never really works out

DDRKirbyISQ: if you use yamato gun, you might be able to get in a hit or two, but then you’re screwed

Hermes7z7: in reality NO ONE uses yomato gun

DDRKirbyISQ: they try against overmind broodling

DDRKirbyISQ: s

DDRKirbyISQ: cuz to destroy overmind broodlings you need EVERYTHING YOU HAVE

DDRKirbyISQ: you could try using carriers,

DDRKirbyISQ: but again, the spore defense system does about 500 damage

DDRKirbyISQ: and it’s the only attack in the entire game that actually kills interceptors

DDRKirbyISQ: so dark templar are your best bet

DDRKirbyISQ: especially if you have Zeratul

DDRKirbyISQ: because he gets a damage bonus

DDRKirbyISQ: but then again, that can throw off your sync, causing you to destroy one of them faster than the others

DDRKirbyISQ: so then they multiply

DDRKirbyISQ: and then you’re just SCREWED

DDRKirbyISQ: you could try sending infested terrans against em,

Hermes7z7: TIMMY

DDRKirbyISQ: but there’s a 50% chance that they’ll get absorbed into the broodling

Hermes7z7: its fun to think about but this never will really happen unless its a comp

DDRKirbyISQ: and then it regenerates even gaster

Hermes7z7: your not thinking real

DDRKirbyISQ: *faster

DDRKirbyISQ: lol



DDRKirbyISQ: it will plain NEVER happen

DDRKirbyISQ: lol


Hermes7z7: i wasnt reading what you were saying

DDRKirbyISQ: read back

DDRKirbyISQ: from the top

Hermes7z7: later

Hermes7z7: im busy

DDRKirbyISQ: lol

Hermes7z7: not now

DDRKirbyISQ: I typed some good stuff

DDRKirbyISQ: like, 2 pages, lol

DDRKirbyISQ: I’m gonna send this to ryan

DDRKirbyISQ: so as I was saying

DDRKirbyISQ: infested terrans will probably not work

DDRKirbyISQ: but you could try sending scourge

DDRKirbyISQ: (the overmind broodlings act like ground AND air units)

DDRKirbyISQ: but before you send the scourge, you gotta use devourers

DDRKirbyISQ: cause the acid spores decrease the chance that the scourge will be absorbed into the broodlings

DDRKirbyISQ: so scourge might work

DDRKirbyISQ: IF the spore defense system doesn’t kill them

DDRKirbyISQ: which means you pretty much have to send 300 at a time

DDRKirbyISQ: I guess you ~could~ try plaguing them to deat

DDRKirbyISQ: *daeth

DDRKirbyISQ: **death

DDRKirbyISQ: but you’d have to use irradiate as well to speed the process

DDRKirbyISQ: and it still does damage only a little faster than it can regenerate

DDRKirbyISQ: because I forgot to mention, it has 20 defense

DDRKirbyISQ: so dark templar are basically the only way

DDRKirbyISQ: unless you can get your hands on civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: or better yet, HALLUCINATED civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: in a hallucinated bunker

DDRKirbyISQ: they just might be able to stop the overmind broodlings

DDRKirbyISQ: if they’re backed by 6000 or so other units

DDRKirbyISQ: but teching up to civilians might take a while

DDRKirbyISQ: plus, you basically have to have control of the entire map to get enough resources

DDRKirbyISQ: so the only REAL way to kill them is to use the diablo clone

DDRKirbyISQ: but then again, there’s a 25% chance that the diablo clone will just join the broodlings

DDRKirbyISQ: and even if he kills the broodlings, he might kill you afterwards

DDRKirbyISQ: but you might buy yourself time to tech up to civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: because civilians work extra well against the diablo clone

DDRKirbyISQ: especially if you can get your hands on a few Bartuc’s claws

DDRKirbyISQ: and if you socket the claws, you’re set

DDRKirbyISQ: and your civilians are unstoppable

DDRKirbyISQ: unless, of course, all of your allies decide to bs by sending medics to the diablo clone

DDRKirbyISQ: then your civilians might die quicker than the diablo clone

DDRKirbyISQ: especially if they send their mass dark templars against your civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: (because they’ve been massing dts for the overmind broodlings_

DDRKirbyISQ: and if they use mind control on your civilians, well

DDRKirbyISQ: I hope you massed scvs

DDRKirbyISQ: because the only way to stop a civilian is to stack buildings on top of it until it cant move

DDRKirbyISQ: vespene refineries work best for this

DDRKirbyISQ: unless of course, you have 72 science vessels

DDRKirbyISQ: in which case you can trap the civilian in a huge defensive matrix

DDRKirbyISQ: unless, of course, you went with hallucinated civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: which cant be stopped, period

DDRKirbyISQ: and if they’re in a hallucinated bunker, your doom will be that much faster

DDRKirbyISQ: unless you can convince your ally to attack someone else

DDRKirbyISQ: usually offering complete slavery and willingness to give up all resources as well as units might work

DDRKirbyISQ: unless your ally is an @$$hole….or a computer

DDRKirbyISQ: but why would anyone play with either of those?

DDRKirbyISQ: erm…I mean…play ~against~

DDRKirbyISQ: because you have to play with a computer, lol

DDRKirbyISQ: anyways, you basically have to surrender if they have hallucinated civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: unless ~you~ hallucinate the already hallucinated civilians

DDRKirbyISQ: or you infest them using 72 queens

DDRKirbyISQ: of course, you could always try building a Xel’Naga temple, but that’s always a last resort

DDRKirbyISQ: wow


DDRKirbyISQ: I’ve written 4 pages already

DDRKirbyISQ: and over 1,000 words

DDRKirbyISQ: if only essays were this easy to write…

DDRKirbyISQ: so anyways, double hallucination and infestation are good options

DDRKirbyISQ: although you probably wont be able to double mind control them, since that requires about 6,000 dark archons

DDRKirbyISQ: so stick with the double hallucination if youre ‘toss

DDRKirbyISQ: and if you’re terran,

DDRKirbyISQ: well, you could always try building the ultimate defensive structure

DDRKirbyISQ: photon cannon on top of a missile turret on top of a bunker on top of a sunken colony

DDRKirbyISQ: of course, you’ll have to support it with defensive matrix and about 20 medics and scvs

DDRKirbyISQ: but it’s definitely worth it if you have the gas to tech up that far

DDRKirbyISQ: it helps if you research vespene undepletion

DDRKirbyISQ: so that you can replenish your geysers if they run out of gas

DDRKirbyISQ: because vespene undepletion isn’t that far up the 6th tech tree

DDRKirbyISQ: and if you dont have enough gas to tech up that far

DDRKirbyISQ: you’re gonna have to mass battlecruisers

DDRKirbyISQ: it should be easy enough until the very end

DDRKirbyISQ: where you have to kill off your scvs to lower your supply

DDRKirbyISQ: because you need every single battlecruiser you can get

DDRKirbyISQ: otherwise it might fail

Hermes7z7: timmy

Hermes7z7: STOP

Hermes7z7: lol

Hermes7z7: d2

Hermes7z7: chan cube

DDRKirbyISQ: when they’re all ready, use an overloaded yamato gun attack

DDRKirbyISQ: (of course, you have to research that first)

DDRKirbyISQ: and be sure to upgrade your yamato gun, too

Hermes7z7: artbitor building?

DDRKirbyISQ: you dont want to only use like 100 energy

Hermes7z7: citadel of adun?

DDRKirbyISQ: you have to use the full energy supply of the battlecruiser

Hermes7z7: D2

Hermes7z7: join cube/cube

DDRKirbyISQ: and all of the yamato gun blasts have to be aimed at the foot of the civilian

DDRKirbyISQ: if you aim it at the head, he’ll just ingest it and then spit it back out

DDRKirbyISQ: just like if you had tried to send scourge against

DDRKirbyISQ: him

DDRKirbyISQ: so anyways, good luck



Starcraft rant 2: Starcraft Mod


DDRKirbyISQ: I should make an sc mod

DDRKirbyISQ: I’ll call it, “Protoss ner”–erm…I mean…”Starcraft Unlimited”

DDRKirbyISQ: yeah

Red7z7: protoss nerfed

Red7z7: those bastards

DDRKirbyISQ: heehee

DDRKirbyISQ: ….

DDRKirbyISQ: …

DDRKirbyISQ: which bastards?

Red7z7: protoss

DDRKirbyISQ: ah

DDRKirbyISQ: heh

DDRKirbyISQ: the and their, “we are the superior race”

DDRKirbyISQ: I think I’ll keep the protoss the same in my mod

DDRKirbyISQ: and I’ll add psionic powers to the zerg

DDRKirbyISQ: and the terrans will get a bajillion different types of marines

Red7z7: haha

DDRKirbyISQ: rocket launcher marine

DDRKirbyISQ: flamethrower marine (because firebats don’t know how to get the job done)

DDRKirbyISQ: rpg marine *wink*

DDRKirbyISQ: sniper marine

DDRKirbyISQ: kamikaze marine

DDRKirbyISQ: sword marine

DDRKirbyISQ: pistol marine

DDRKirbyISQ: machine gun marine

DDRKirbyISQ: rambo marine

DDRKirbyISQ: idiot marine

DDRKirbyISQ: dead meat marine

DDRKirbyISQ: kung fu marine

DDRKirbyISQ: and dont forget, assasin marine

DDRKirbyISQ: and bow marine

DDRKirbyISQ: and marine marine (underwater)

DDRKirbyISQ: and flying marine

Red7z7: marine marine

Red7z7: ownz

DDRKirbyISQ: yeah

DDRKirbyISQ: then there’s transformer marine

DDRKirbyISQ: mech marine (goliaths are a joke, they don’t even have lasers)

Red7z7: haha

DDRKirbyISQ: psycho marine

DDRKirbyISQ: trooper marine (with ultra-heavy armor

DDRKirbyISQ: running marine

DDRKirbyISQ: (perfect for speeding past defenses)

DDRKirbyISQ: food marine (followers of super-food man)

Red7z7: yak

DDRKirbyISQ: mutated marines (think zerg)

Red7z7: hah

DDRKirbyISQ: garbage marines (attack using leftover resources….think gas….)

DDRKirbyISQ: jetpack marine

DDRKirbyISQ: kiddie marine

DDRKirbyISQ: (i.e. private)

DDRKirbyISQ: old fogey marine

DDRKirbyISQ: grenade marine

DDRKirbyISQ: napalm grename marine

DDRKirbyISQ: flashbang marine

DDRKirbyISQ: and of course, psychic marine

DDRKirbyISQ: nuke marine

DDRKirbyISQ: hacker marine

DDRKirbyISQ: engineer marine

DDRKirbyISQ: spy marine

DDRKirbyISQ: infiltrator marine

DDRKirbyISQ: wall marine (basically a huge brick)

DDRKirbyISQ: ninja marine

Red7z7: me and nicky are talking about super food man

DDRKirbyISQ: haha

Red7z7: cuz he owns

DDRKirbyISQ: yep

DDRKirbyISQ: that’s why there’s food marines

DDRKirbyISQ: and then of course, they’res dog marines

DDRKirbyISQ: and cat marines

DDRKirbyISQ: and turtle marines

DDRKirbyISQ: and l33t marines, whatever those are

DDRKirbyISQ: and marooned marines

DDRKirbyISQ: and mooning marines

DDRKirbyISQ: (last resort)

DDRKirbyISQ: and club marines

DDRKirbyISQ: and teacher marines

DDRKirbyISQ: and yeah